I wish our dog, Buffy, understood the dangers of squirrels. She is a little Shorkie with a big dog complex; it doesn’t matter how big the dog is; she imagines herself bigger. I suppose it’s my fault. I named her after Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was inevitable that she would possess an unmatched level of bravery. She chases anything she thinks doesn’t belong in our yard: other dogs, ravens, politicians, but mostly squirrels.

Once, when a giant black dog wandered halfway down our long driveway, Buffy didn’t even pause before she transformed into a bullet with teeth on furry little legs. There was no doubt in her mind she was going to rip this trespasser’s throat out.

I remained unconvinced. I yelled in my harshest voice, “Buffy, come here—get back here right now!”

She glanced at me, her hair flying away from her eyes, as if to say, “Don’t worry, Mom, I got this.” She ran even faster toward the hulking canine.

I raced towards both dogs, hoping to stop an impending battle. I yelled again. It was no use; she had completely tuned me out. I sprinted to prevent the slaughter.

Then I stopped. The big dog suddenly dropped his head and turned around, jogging back down the driveway without even uttering a growl. Buffy halted, gave one final bark, and then trotted towards me, her tail high in the air like a flag of conquest. “See. You didn’t need to wake up all the neighbors with your screaming. Sheesh.”Personally, I believe it may have been my screeching that deterred the big dog from eating my little dog, but Buffy would never believe that. She doesn’t listen to me.

Buffy’s favourite pastime is squirrel chasing. She is an exuberant predator, and the squirrels enjoy goading her. The only trouble is, I wish she could understand how dangerous squirrels can be. Like my mom used to say, it’s all fun and games until somebody loses a nose. To deter Buffy from pursuing squirrels, I decided to read her articles of squirrel attacks from various newspapers; I told her in the spring of 2022, in Carleton Place, Ontario, a black squirrel began attacking people, biting, clawing, and chasing. It even knocked over an elderly woman as she defended herself from its attack. Then I read her another story about a small Welsh village, where a little nutjob squirrel attacked eighteen people in a span of two days. This furry little villain kept the local doctor busy with gory scratches and bites for most of those days. Buffy’s confidence hasn’t weakened. Maybe if I show her this video of squirrel attacks, she will understand? https://youtu.be/cKCvbdNHTXQ?si=C87wzp9wHC-q0_vq

It didn’t work. Instead, she added the extra step of sharpening her teeth before her squirrel-chasing activities. Damn the Yorkie part of a Shorkie that doesn’t listen. Any advice?

Daily writing prompt

If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?

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