I know. I realize it’s the beginning of the week, and I’ve challenged you to an unspoken duel with all the reasons you hate Monday. It might not be fair. I might automatically win. The fact is, you may feel like an amoeba on the evolutionary scale of life. But you’re not! You have far too many cells to be an amoeba. So, how about starting your day with a different attitude? Oops, sorry, I just created a large pocket of resistance within you, with that last sentence. I felt needles rise, like a porcupine defending its territory. It’s okay. I’m poking you on purpose. I’m going to help you drop the negativity. I can see you going through your day, with all of your internalized poop weighing you down, like Beethoven’s piano tied to your ass. My friends, my friends, for God sakes— avoid the hernia cut the flipping rope.
Super job! You should feel lighter already. Today is your day. It’s your opportunity to make a difference in to at least one person’s life— your own. So play your favourite song, the one that stirs your juices and blows the lid off your dance moves. Get your enthusiasm pumping on the rhythm of life. Have that extra shot of espresso, and hear your heartbeat shout, “Enjoy yourself, have fun because everything is going your way, everywhere you go and everything you do will work out for you.”
It’s fantastic! Just look at all the wonders of life, we have a right foot, and a left foot, such a blessing, because two left feet always cause a problem. We have noses to keep our glasses on our face, and we have the ability to drink a cup of steaming stool softener anytime we get uptight. See? Instant happiness, maybe you’ll get downright giddy, and start hugging trees, and jumping in front of an ice cream men, shouting “I love your maple walnuts.”
Word to the wise— batshit enthusiasm may be frightening to some individuals, especially ones with a forest appendage up their bum.